Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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