Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
