The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
