dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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