i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
