Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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