Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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