You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
