he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
did i just pee glitter
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize