I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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