So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize