you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
