did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
