dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
