Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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