I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
