I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize