It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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