How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is Oprah even human
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
