She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
