Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
