Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
