so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
