nut hugger
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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