Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize