Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
