this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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