If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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