cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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