I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
