When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
