I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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