well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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