apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
