I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
