She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
