I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
