I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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