Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
