My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Let's get the cat blown out
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
