i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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