She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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