Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

(1-904): View more from Florida

wtf?

(904): View more from Florida

It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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(805): View more from California

saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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(239): View more from Florida

just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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(302): View more from Delaware

just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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(573): View more from Missouri

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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(904): View more from Florida

Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.

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