when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
