Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You pole danced in your parka.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize