Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sobbing to NWA
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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