he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
