Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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