I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
