I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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