There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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