I think my vagina is haunted
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
