so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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