You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
