you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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