where does the pee come out of this thing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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