if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
