When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize