I CAN MOONWALK!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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