did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
