I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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