...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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