we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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