y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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