Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
