our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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